One of the most overused clichés ever is:
“People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.”
It’s attributed to former American President Theodore Roosevelt.
The analogy is that people out there don’t want to know your opinion if they feel a lack of connection with you.
People want to feel that your answer, your solution, your precis is because you are invested in them and with them, and that you are not just speaking for the sake of speaking.
People want to feel that what you are saying is coming from the heart and has a purpose of adding value.
In dentistry, when we are conversing with patients throughout the day, we should always be coming from a conciliatory position rather than from a position of trying to influence or trying to be heard.x
This is why it is always best to listen more than you speak.
And why it is important to ask questions more than we offer opinions.
To be a good friend we should first try to be a good listener.
Here are some characteristics of a good listener:
- Look at them.
Focus on them, and them alone. Don’t be distracted by background movement. Be in the moment.
- Truly listen
Give all your attention to what they are saying and why they are saying things, with the purpose of understanding rather than with the intention of wanting to respond.
- Give them visual and auditory feedback that you are in the zone with them.
Nod your head, make eye contact, agree.
- Seek clarification on their meanings, as well as on how they are feeling.
Ask conciliatory questions to show that you are onboard with how they are feeling and the story they are sharing.
Remember, everybody loves to talk about their favourite subjects: THEMSELVES!
Those of us who can control our responses to being responses and not being opinions and statements will be valued and praised as true listeners.
Mary Kay Ash said everybody out there is walking around with an invisible sign around their necks that reads:
“Make me feel important!”
Including all of our dental patients.
And the easiest way to do that is to be a good listener.
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Email me at david@theupe.com
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