Stop Painting Rainbows and Start Looking After Me

You’ve got to wonder about Qantas.

Last year they posted their second highest profit on record. Only beaten by the previous year’s profit.

Last year the CEO collected a salary with bonuses of $24.5M.

And yet I still feel like they’re fisting me.

Here is why….

Where is the Wi-Fi?

When I’m in the USA I can get Wi-Fi on nearly every flight.

When I fly American Airlines or United Airlines across the Pacific I can get Wi-Fi.

But for some crazy reason the CEO Mr. Joyce doesn’t think this is a priority for Qantas?

He says that maybe if we are lucky we might have it by some time next year 2018? Really?

I’d rather they spend the money that they’re wasting on telling me how to vote in a plebiscite and on painting rainbows on getting me Wi-Fi while I’m on their planes.

And what about the limes?

With all that profit Qantas is making I can’t seem to get a lime in my gin at all* when flying Qantas.

Not in a lounge, not on a plane. Not in Business class. Not in First Class.

Sometimes I’ve resorted to bringing my own limes. But then there’ no knife on the plane that’s sharp enough to cut my precious limes.

Really Mr. Joyce?

Are limes so expensive?

Remember, you got paid $24.5M last year. Your company is posting its second biggest profit ever, and you can’t get me a lime?

So let me tell you about my last overseas trip.

Two weeks ago I had a two-day meeting in Atlanta. Tuesday and Wednesday.

I buy a business class ticket.

I leave Sydney on Monday.

With my return trip, because of timing and daylight savings, I’m due to depart Atlanta [fly out of Atlanta] at 550pm on Thursday, the day after my meeting ends.

I enquire, in Sydney [via email] the day that I leave…I ask through my travel agent, that if by chance my meeting finishes early on the Wednesday, could I possibly bring my journey forward twenty-four hours?

When I arrive in Atlanta, and before I find out whether or not my meeting is going to end early, my travel agent shares me the good news via email..

Cost of bringing my return journey forward 24 hours?

$400.00 transfer fee plus $2707.00 fare increase.

You’ve got to be kidding me?

So I decide I’ll sit out my extra 24 hours in Atlanta and wait.

My meeting does in fact finish early.

In reality, I could have booked ahead ages ago when I bought my travel, and come home 24 hours earlier.

But because I exercised caution, I got stuck in Atlanta for 24 hours.

But it gets better…. even the next day Thursday when I get to the Atlanta airport early, like way, way early, I can’t even bring my AA flight to DFW forward….

It’ a long, long, 24 hours.

So let me tell you about QF8 that Thursday night….

First of all, I know what I am telling you is a first world problem.

I know if I complain publicly, that’s what the rest of the world is going to think.

“First World Problem.”

They are all going to think “You poor old rich so and so!”

I know and understand that a first-class seat on an airline is the most expensive real estate on the planet.

But there are people willing to pay that freight for the comfort benefit.

Some pay with cash. And others pay with Frequent Flyer points.

That being said, those travelling there do need to be respected for making that choice, considering the price they have paid to be there.

And sure, I did not pay all up in dollars for my first-class ticket. I bought a business class seat and used points to upgrade.

But, and I mean BUT, the points needed to do this are significant…

So what went wrong in First Class David?

Well, it looked like my seat was in the twilight zone.

Not quite Siberia, but certainly I was ignored.

Last to get in flight drinks.

Last to have my meal order taken.

And last to be served my meal.

In fact, I was so last, they ran out of my chosen dish and I had to be served a salad from the menu of another part of the plane.

Can you believe it?

With only fourteen customers in the first class cabin they run out of one dish?

And not only that, the invisibility continued.

Twice, not once, but twice during my meal, my wine glass emptied.

Bone dry.


Where was the service?

Twice I get asked the wrong things by cabin crew who had obviously been brought in from other cabins to help….. but really?

It sure looked to me that they were short staffed at the pointy end….

What does this all mean?

If you’re going to run a business and make a big profit and pay your CEO a ridiculous amount of money, then make sure your operations are not fisting the customers who pay for the big-ticket items.

Every customer likes to feel that a percentage of what they spend with a business is being re-invested back into the business to retain customers.

Having sufficient food and sufficient crew and fresh limes would go a long way to satisfying those customers who fork out the big bucks for a seat at the pointy end.

How is it in your business? Are your good and great customers always feeling your undying love for them?

Here is my point to Qantas…. don’t screw over you good customers and ask them for more money on outrageous fares while you are making huge profits and paying your CEO so much….

Imagine trying to move a dental appointment just 24 hours and being asked to hand over $3107.00 to do so?

It just isn’t correct when the left hand and the right hand are clapping out of sequence Mr. Joyce…


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