The Thick Line Between Right And Wrong

There’s an age old cliché made famous in a song:

“It’s a Fine Line Between Pleasure and Pain”

Is it?

I know that scientists have found pain in the same brain circuits that give you pleasure, and that the pain that masochists feel releases adrenaline and dopamine, which makes them feel good.

What concerns me more about the cliché is the use of, and the acceptance of the existence of a “so called” fine line…

Whoever decided that fine lines made the co-existence of two things acceptable?

Sometimes someone may window dress a behaviour in an attempt to disguise what it really is.

One person’s perception may be their one hundred percent reality.

Let me explain.

A person may perceive comments made to them as being of a harassing behaviour.

But the person making those comments may believe those comments to be complimentary [about someone’s appearance] or of a flirtatious nature.

The reality of the matter is that the intention of the comments is irrelevant.

The interpretation of the comments is all that matters.

If the comments are “taken” in a way they were not meant to be taken, then those comments are out of order because the purpose of those comments has not been clarified, or pre-clarified.

In the same manner, if we were to ask somebody to perform a task and they failed to do so, it may have been because we had failed to deliver our instructions with complete clarity as to the result we were expecting.

And so the reason in this case for the failure falls firmly upon the messenger rather than on the receiver of the message.

Humour should be funny.

In the workplace, attempts at humour should not be at the expense of somebody else’s self-esteem.

Making “jokes” about a co-worker’s ability or lack of ability is humiliating, and frankly, is bullying.

Derogatory comments that attempt to create a laugh at the expense of someone else’s behaviours, or choices, or worse still, things out of that person’s control, say a lot MORE about the [lack of] character of the person making those comments than they do about the intended target of those comments.

This also goes for derogatory comments made outside of the workplace as well…

It’s time to grow up…

In the twenty-first century, there must be no place for bullies.

Banish the bullies from your workplace. Dismiss them.

Remove them from your groups, and your clubs, and your circles.

Only allow them to return to those places on the understanding that those previous behaviours will no longer be tolerated.

Our world grows by building, not by destroying.

There are two ways to own the tallest building in town.

One is to tear down and destroy all those buildings taller than yours until yours is the tallest building left standing.

And the other way is to just go out there and build something of significance.

The second thought.

Although purposefully ignoring someone in the workplace can be seen as an act of “workplace harassment”, my thought is that on nearly every occasion in life, our SECOND THOUGHT will be far more appropriate as a response than our initial first thought.

And often that second thought can simply be silence.

Or “No comment”.

Sometimes there is merit in letting a few “go through to the keeper”.

Buying time often buys respect.

When I was an employer, I often would have employees come to me with questions.

What I found worked well for me was to ask those employees if I could give their question some thought and get back to them later with my answer.

This worked well because it allowed me time to digest the question and plan my response, as opposed to “shooting from the hip”.

And the other bonus that came from this approach was that during the time-out that I had asked for, the employee was often able to come up with their own solution to their original question.

And that was empowering.

There should be no fine line any more…

There is only what there is.

There should be no grey areas.

Right and wrong need to be clearly demarcated, and separated by a thick black line.

“Intent” and “attempt” should have nothing to do with anything.


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